“Feeling lucky tonight? Wanna fill up my house!” And that shit doesn’t exist outside of Total Recall.Īnything’s wild? Sounds like it would make for a whole lot of stalemates. Even if you did have two wild cards you’d have to have at least one other one to go with it, so that would be three of a kind. Wait…but if you have a pair, it isn’t wild it’s just a pair.
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“Think I’m sexy? I’ll rip off my top and show you my wild pair.” You start off playing poker with one of three ladies of your choosing, and once you win a certain amount of chips from her, you get to see short scenes of her in various states of undress while she delivers some of the most poorly written allusions to sexual situations I’ve ever heard, including: This one is probably the most traditional of the three, as most people are familiar with the concept of strip poker. Peek-a-Boo Poker is the first of three games today from a developer of unlicensed adult NES games, Panesian. There’s nothing more erotic than a sore loser. Despite technical advances in graphics, less than half as many exist as did for the Atari, and none of these even attempted to depict the hardcore sex acts that were (arguably) displayed on the older system. To illustrate this point, I give you the NES’s collection of porn games. Though one weird thing about the console videogame porn industry is that, as the technology has progressed and become more and more capable of displaying imagery that’s actually sexually arousing, fewer and fewer porno games have been made. But then came the Atari 2600, and it dared to dream what porn might look like if one were to capture human sex acts using fewer pixels than can be counted on one hand ( as we have previously discussed). Sure it started out innocuously enough- Spacewar, Pong, tic tac toe. Videogames aren’t much different as a medium. It’s just that we just like jacking off a lot more. Now, we as a species don’t do this because we don’t value expressing ourselves artistically or communicating with others in some form.
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But now that it’s been opened up to the public, it’s chock full of porn up the wazoo, including sites based around inserting things up the wazoo. Hell, even the Internet in the 1980s and early ’90s was largely educational, with most of its content coming from colleges and universities.
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The first porn movie was made just one year after the world’s first feature-length film. Give a caveman a chisel, and he’s going to have a cave full of boob carvings in no time.
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Throughout the history of mankind, when a new medium of art or communication has been discovered, it generally hasn’t taken very long for us to figure out how to hijack this new discovery and turn it into a hotbed of hardcore pornography.